It’s January and curling events are being cancelled and there’s still no Canadian mixed doubles team for the Olympics and my gosh will the Games be postponed and … and …
Hold on a second.
The Olympic curling season of 2021-22 ain’t suddenly over. Despite Omicron’s best efforts—and it is fearsome thing to be respected—numerous bonspiels took place over the holidays and others are ongoing as you read this.
So … try to relax.
Ontario and other provinces lost their women’s championships—other events including some nationals are being postponed—but British Columbians (triple knockout!), Albertans and Saskatchewanese are battling on ice, all of it visible on webstreams with the playoff games appearing on television this weekend.
The U.S. nationals were cancelled—action would’ve been coming to a head this weekend in Cedar Rapids, Iowa—but the Roaring Game is still going in various locales. Recreational leagues are rockin’—carefully, we hope—and the quadrennial promotional push is starting to gear up.
Olympic athlete preparation is also going on, as best as can be managed. Russia’s female ROC stars are now in Calgary, while Sergey Glukhov’s men’s squad has a pre-Olympic training camp ready for Jan. 26 to Feb. 6 in Novosibirsk. The Korean women will start a training camp in little more than a week. Canada’s Team Gushue will soon jet to Vancouver, while Team Jones will encamp just north of Barrie, Ont. The Scots—er, Team GB—have always been training and competing in Stirling, when they haven’t been steamrolling across Europe, winning and qualifying.
The onus is on the athletes and coaches to stay safe; a positive test for COVID-19 at this point would mean they’re out of the Olympics.
As for the Games themselves being postponed? I suppose it’s a possibility, but that would mean China’s COVID ZERO policy, which has maintained its integrity throughout the entire pandemic, would have to finally shatter … and precisely at this crucial moment.
Your average curling fan has no idea what that policy means to the Chinese. It means layer upon layer upon layer of hoops to jump through. There is zero tolerance for the virus and it is stamped out with ruthless authority. Just the other day, a (small) city of a million people was completely locked down—after three positive cases. Three.
That means residents, who can’t even go outside for groceries (officials deliver the food) are swapping food items with their neighbours.
At the Olympic venues in Beijing, it means even more protocols, and probably double-secret probationary protocols yet to be unveiled. It means volunteers in hazmat suits. It means robots are scurrying around the venues, ready to deliver, disinfect and discipline as necessary.
Robots. I kid you not.
There’s a logistics robot, that can carry up to 300 kilograms of stuff and performs contactless distribution. The robot sends a text message when the delivery has arrived, and the receiver picks up the goods with a verification code. After delivery, the robot returns to its docking station for disinfection and to recharge.
There’s a pathfinding robot, tasked with reducing direct contact between people. It moves about freely, avoiding obstacles and can automatically recharge itself. Speaking of charging, we have no idea if it zaps anyone violating contact rules with a few volts. It’s suggested that curling athletes who are fun-loving and, we might assume, overtly curious, should resist the urge to wander about and instead stick with their group.
VCG
There’s even COVID-fighting robots, that roam around pre-programmed areas spraying chemicals. This smacks of hygiene theatre, of course, and I hope those things get tossed in a closet sooner than later.
Speaking of closets, Olympic venues have also been equipped with “contactless intelligent distribution cabinets” which can solve the problem of delivering items over the final kilometre. The cabinets have intelligent storage and pickup, remote monitoring and information functions.
And there’s robots making the coffee.
What’s my point?
Unless China’s ruthless two-year approach to the pandemic is suddenly compromised, the Games are taking place, end of story. Those who posit the possibility of postponement or cancellation on social media are trolling for your clicks.
Come on, folks. Yes, it’s January, it’s mostly dark and cold outside, we’re sick and tired of all of this and life is stressful. But winter Olympians dig deep and produce every four years, and it’s time for us to do exactly the same thing. Everyone just needs to relax … a bit.
I suggest an immediate search for panda curling cookies.
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